I'm feeling pathetic.. I hate this feeling because I will only feel this when I'm not satisfied with myself. Like how I'm not satisfied that I am just an AED and not a full-fledged teacher. I got upset knowing many people around me got through. And of course there are many things, that's just one of the examples..

"Happiness does not mean that a person has everything, but utilising whatever he/she has."

It's true. In life, I can't be happy if I'm always whinning about something I am not getting. I tend to get jealous when what I am aiming lands on another person's hands. Jealousy should be the last thing on earth that I should feel man. I think I need to change my mindset. This has got to stop. I have to make do with whatever I have and just be happy with it. We can never be satisfied with life if we are not happy with what we have now.

I should be happy.. At least I have a job, I have my family, I have great friends and of course, I have my love, Shiddiq. What else do I need?

I remembered I had to do a self-introduction and were asked what my personal achievement is. I blatantly said that I don't have any personal achievement because my goals weren't attained yet. I was all wrong. When I think back, I have so many achievements.

1. I have a job of the area of my interest
2. I have attained a Diploma and now pursuing a Specialist Diploma
3. I have a long term relationship boyfriend whom I love very much and hopefully will soon to be my husband

and so on....

I have more than what I could ask for.. I should be thankful.

I can't wait to start on my Bachelor programme and get married to Shiddiq. These are my 2 priority goals in life that I wish to attain within 5 years. InsyaAllah, Amin..

I'll let all the pictures do the talking alright..

 

( Pictures galore )

 

Have you guys watched MJ's "This Is It"? Please.. By all means, watch it. I had no intention of watching it at first but having heard that it is only premiering for 2 weeks and that it is a good show, I decided not to give it a miss. I had no prior knowledge of what-so-ever the movie is about except that it is a documentary. But neh, it's not of that genre; a far cry from a documentary.

Remember previously in my post I said that MJ is just another ordinary person who has completed his life cycle and that he is of no big deal to me? Well, after watching this show, I'm taking back whatever I posted. It gave me a whole new and different perspective. This show reminded me of the reason why I used to like MJ and as to why is he a respected person. It relived the childhood memories I had with all his songs. For several years, I had forgotten all that. For several years, many people had forgotten that too.. Not until he died.

I love the part where he sang "What about us". I love the song. It brings up the naturalist in me in which was hidden for so many many years. I remembered not to litter anywhere when I was young. I remembered to recycle things just to save the earth. I remembered showering as quickly as I could just to save water. I remembered participating actively in many campaigns pertaining the environment in school. I remembered feeling guilty when I did not switch off the plug after use. I used to care about the earth but as I grew older, I become more bo chap. I couldn't care less. Hearing that song and watching him singing and dancing to it makes me feel guilty all over again for not doing my part. I feel sad.

After this show, I remember why I love MJ. His songs are constantly reminding us to be a better person. Even though I was still very small at that point of time, I know what his intentions are through all his songs because afterall, the heart of a child is the purest.

Once again, rest in peace Michael Jackson.

Last weekend was a great weekend for all of my family members. Another one of my cousins got blissfully married. So in total, 4 down and many many more cousins to go. The event went well except for some minor glitches. The thing I love about marriage is that everything seems so colourful and happy.. I love decors, the outfits, the food, the smell, the sound, the anxiety.. everything! I think I have gone bonkers, but ohh well.. You know lah, I kan tak sabar nak kahwin.. Tapi apa kan daya.. Tak dapat kahwin sekarang. Lagi 3 tahun maybe? InsyaAllah..

The highlight of the event is of course the karaoke session. Ironically, si beruk (Fauze) tu tk nyanyi pulak eh? Gelek je lebih.

Anyway, I became the photographer tk berlesen for 2 consecutive days. That explains why I'm so tired at the end of the day. I had to chase after the pengantin ok. Tengok bertape semangatnye aku.

Anyway, pic will be up soon. There are over 600 pictures to upload. Dah nak mampos?

I burnt my midnight oil printing notes. Can you believe it? I haven't even started on my assignments and I've already wasted time printing notes. Shucks. 1800 words essay lagi!! HOW TO DO?!?! I don't have linguistic intelligence!

I'm so back dated lor. I realised that my blog has no colours to it cause I rarely put pictures.. Most of the pictures here are either taken using a camera phone or other pple's digi cam. I have yet to purchase a new one for myself. Heard that LX3's price has dropped and I am hoping to get a bonus so I can invest on the camera.



Initially, I wanted to post pictures of other events besides Hari Raya. But the bed is calling me.. I have to turn in already. Will upload more soon. Toodles!

I know I'm slow.. But I wanna wish you all Happy Raya Day! Kalau ade salah silap, dosa, sama ada sengaja atau tidak, I mintak mahap banyak2 lah hor..



Anyway, recently I heard a very clasic story by a 10 year old:

"Ayul kalau nk gaduh, Ayul gi kt dorang dekat-dekat......................................then Ayul pekik kt telinga dorang kuat-kuat. Dorang semua takut ngan Ayul ah!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ni mcm kau kate kau terror? LOL! At first I thought he's gonna punch tt somebody lah, konon gangster kan.. Sekali pekik je? HAHHAHHAHA!!! Cute lah ni gemok.

Can I say that I love Muhammad Shiddiq Bin Abdul Rasid so much? Just hearing his voice makes my day.. or rather, my night.. Haaahhhh.. I really can't wait to meet him...

I didn't realise that Hari raya is just a few days away.. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? And this year, I didn't get to perform Terawih seh. I intended to do it somewhere in the middle of the month but sampai skrg, aku tk buat2 pun. I hope that we will be able to meet another Ramadhan. InsyaAllah..

 I tak sabar you nk jumpe BF I!!! I rindu die sangat2!

I've been trying to study what was taught for the past few days but no, I still don't get it!! I semangat2 tau balik rumah revise, konon nk buat notes sendiri.. tapi I research and research, semue berlainan.. Mcm mane? Notes lecturer kasi is so brief.. I was so excited to learn psychology noh.. Tapi apakan daya... masa tak akan kembali..  Information tk dpt dan tk nak masuk dlm kepale otak I. Why? Because information stored in the sensory storage wasn't revised/rehearsed. Everything was stored in the sensory storage but it just don't want to go into the short-term memory!!! HOW??? How to notice a behavioural change if it's not stored in the long-term memory because it's not even stored in the short-term memory? If there's no behavioural change, there's no learning. So how?!!?

Ade hati nk ambek Bachelor in Maths with Psychology. Baru belajar theory sikit dah pening pale.. I can be a psycho already studying psychology, I tell you.

I cume nak bilang.. I dah colour my hair. Tapi kan.. I sungguh tak puas tau pasal tk nampak sangat perbezaannye. I toned my hair brown lah. Tapi I ckp ngan aunty tu, I tk nk terang2 sangat pasal I takut nanti my mother marah kan.. So aunty tu buat lah my hair tk terang sangat. Dah tu takpe.. I gi highlight.. Tapi I ni pandai lah sangat2 pasal I suruh aunty to highlight colour hitam. So akhirnya, sia sia sahaja I highlight rambut I. Tk nampak difference pun, nyah! So selenger kan I? Takpe lah.. Tapi aunty tu cute lah kasi I free 2 streaks of purple colour sempena hali laya (aunty tu ckp hali besar tau bukan hali laya). Macam tau je aunty tu yg baju raye I colour purple this year. *mentel-ly giggles* Tapi takpe lah kan. Nanti di lain hari, insyaAllah lah I highlight colour yg terangnye lah ye.

Dengan itu, saya mengakhiri berita terkini.

Somehow listening to hari raya songs makes me miss him even more... God!! This sucks!

GUESS WHAT! I'm no longer a Mac virgin! Bought my first Mac product today and I am so contented! I know, so the kental and lembab right? But whatever lor. I'm happy what, not you. And I sense more spending soon. As Mr Pringles would say, "Once you pop, you can't stop." Aku rase, once no longer a Mac virgin, confirm nk beli more Mac products. OH TIDAK!!!! JULIANA!!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Haiz... I'm feeling so sad.. He won't be booking out till malam raye.. Today's plan was to actually go to JB and have my hair done. But haiz.. he got confined. So sad.. I miss him so much..

Everytime bile aku bau bantal aku, aku terbau dia. Bau masamnye is the same, it is sooo nice. Everytime when we go out to nearby places, he will come with muka busuk. He won't bathe lor.. But his smell is just too awesome lah.. I think I'm like a female animal attracted to his odour.

Haizz.... I miss smelling your masam head! Please come home soon, busuk.

                                     

Time flies so fast. It's almost hard to believe that we have stay put for 4 years together. Whatever it is, I'm proud of us. Love you so much my dear!


I went back home so dead beat to find a huge lizard running across my room. Tau ah bilik aku mcm kandang kambing.. I don't need a lizard to run happily across to justify the fact. It's dead now, by the way. I slapped it to its death. I didn't know pesticide doesn't work on lizards. Actually, I do know, just that I'm being ignorant and hoping that it works cause I wouldn't want to go near it and hit it because it is so god damn HUGE!

I'm talking rubbish.

Ya batol! Aku mmg takde mood nk raye.. Pasal.. Aku kene keluarkan duit this year.. OH TIDAK!

Tkde mood konon.. tapi gi buat rambut jugak?

Heheheh.. I got my inspiration from sorority life and since I had never tried rebonding, aku pun gatal gi rebond rambut aku and cut my bangs. Tapi sekarang bangs aku is so merepek cause it will keep on parting in the centre (Sesungguhnye aku mmg naturally a nerd. =S ).  Actually, I wanted my bangs to be a cut blunt straight, but that aunty pandai2 did jagged for me.. Haiz.. B's been meaning to say that I look like a 16 year old girl. Since he has either forgotten that we have already turned 21 or that his mental calculation is incomparable to mine , he happily said that I look 3 years younger, and so I asked, "So I look like I'm 18 lah?" Then he corrected himself by saying that I look 5 years younger. Truth is, I always look young lor!

Now being the so indecisive me, I don't know what colour should I dye. I want to dye jet black but I have the aunty and B protesting against it, and my mum and dad supporting it. So how?

Enough about the hairy issue. I can't believe that in 2 weeks time, we'll be celebrating Hari Raya. I still feel like we have probably 3 more weeks of puase. Mati aku.. Bilik lum kemas.. Bilik mcm kandang kambing. Kuih raye pun macam tkde mood nk buat. I'm so into baking, but I don't know why this year I just feel like giving baking a miss. And everytime after going out or after work, I will go home and sleep like a pig until buke time. This has to stop cause I can make use of the nap time to at least do something to my room and bake something! I only have 6 days left to start with the spring cleaning before training starts!

Speaking of which.. First day of training will be at Riverwalk, which is at Clarke Quay. Don't ask why is my lecture conducted there. Anyway, I so can't wait to start! For at least during this period of time I can be a student all over again.

K lah.. I better get some rest.. Goodnight!

The title doesn't make sense, I know. I just happened to look at the hair dryer I won yesterday and there goes my title.

I feel so pathetic now. I'm broke. Not looking forward to raye and my bf's not around. He won't be around for a few more days because of the new batch that'll be coming in soon. It's Saturday.. Saturday alone at home always make me feel so pathetic.

Enough of the being melancholic and sappy. Yesterday's Teachers' Day dinner at Orchid Country Club was fun. The theme of the night was Stars of Innova. Basically, what's needed from us was to have at least a star on us, but I had my own perception of the theme and so I came down donning as a rock star. Being the very semangat nak mampos me, I had Lyz helping me with my make up and hair (a fauxhawk). That's not all, Susyna, Juliana and I even pasted a glitter tattoo on our face.

And pasal kite kan kene jadi star kan malam tu, ape salahnye kalau kite pun go to the extend of being a star karat kan? Tapi nasib lah baik kitenye karat tak lah begitu karat sampaikan pakai sandpaper pun tak jln, we were a little little little bit earlier than the guest of honour, Dr. Maliki Osman. Kalau tak, dgn gaye kite yg cukup glamour (kalah Hollywood star nyah!), dtg same timing ngan MP.. org nanti pikir kitorang ni celebrities mane ntah MP jemput eh?

I, I mean.. we thought that everyone would dress to impress. Bile kite bukak pintu je... ALAMAK! PAISEH LAH... Everyone wasn't being as glamourous as us! It turned out that we were the only one being so "on" with the dressing. Haiyoo.. What's with my black eyeshadow and red lipstick. Mr Saw even asked whether were we going to perform a fashion show for them. So malu can?

There were fun and games, and a lot of laughters. The first game was to guess the brand name of a few pictures of automobile logos. My table won with the help of Azhar. I am nut at highend car brands, mind you. The second game was treasure hunt (who says only children can play this kind of game?) and some of the things that we need to show were simply ridiculous. You tell me where to find red pen and paper clip at dinner? Which teacher is so hardworking until bring red pen to dinner? Apparently, there were lah =S We cheated and we won, AGAIN. Hahaha.. Lastly, we had to pick one representative from each table that has the most stars on him/her. My table's representative (Rafeah) was clearly the winner because she had very tiny stars printed on her dress. It's countless! We got a hat-trick by winning all the 3 games straight and almost all the people in my table won something from the lucky draw. I went back home with the 5th prize lucky draw which is a Panasonic hair dryer. Alhamdulillah.. But where got time to blow my hair dry? 

Yesterday too was my last day in Innova. I'll be leaving the school for 3 months for training in NIE and I managed to give the P5 a little surprise. And by little, I meant tiny. Bought them a few tid bits as a short farewell gift. In return, they gave me a small thank you card signed by everyone. That is so sweet.. Awww... They even took pictures with me at the end of the day like as though I'm their idol (mcm paham). Lol. Though it's such a sweet goodbye, I still can't wait to start on a new phase. I hope I will learn a lot in NIE so that I can develop myself and work towards promoting myself to a higher substantive grade, insyaAllah... Amin.

OMG! I have not been blogging for almost a month now. Bear with me and be prepared for a lengthy post.

Alright.. First up, on the 8th of August, I had a birthday celebration. I had quite a number of arguments with my mother in the preparation of the party. Apparently, I wanted to make this party as a "just friends" party. But since I wasn't given a green light --never had and never will--, she decided to "enlighten" the party by inviting all my relatives over on the same day and timing as when my friends will be arriving. I know.. annoying. However, only a few of my friends turned up. From the 20 over RSVPs, less than 10 turned up. But that's ok.. the place was quite crowded anyways. I felt guilty for throwing tantrums at my mum cause she has helped me a lot in this party, especially with the food. Kalau tk, gebulo lah tetamu aku. It was all fun and laughter until one of my surprise plans for B did not turn out to what I had expected to be. In the end, we managed to resolve the matter, and now I know that I should stop giving him such surprises.

Enough about that.. The next week, B and I had a small getaway. I can still relive the moment in my mind cause it is just too beautiful. He surprised me with a Tiffany & Co Bracelet which is utterly gorgeous. I thought he'd be getting me a camera, but the former holds so much more values than the latter. Thank you, Baby! So on Saturday (15/8), I gave B a little surprise. I told him to close his eyes, but apparently he's too cool to be doing such thing. BORING!

Me: *checks time: 1130* B, alamak.. Siang sangat ah. We walk around Ion first k. We have to wait cause it will only start at 12.
Him: *still clueless* Oh.. You nk ajak gi Spa eh? Then kite makan dulu ah B.
Me: *dalam hati: alamak.. dekni nk gi mkn pulak" Alaa.. I tk lapar ah B.. We walk around first lah k. I nk tgk2 kedai kt Ion.
Him: K lah..

10 minutes later..

Him: B, kite gi mkn dulu ah.. I nk mkn uh..
Me: Alaa.. Nanti lepas bende tu kite leh gi mkn lah k. Bende tu kejap je.. About 10 minutes? Just hold on ok..
Him: Apa-apaan je tau.

So after convincing him that we don't have to eat first for a few minutes, I brought him to the surprise place. I told him to close his eyes. But he could only sustain for half a minute. Bo pian lor, I just drag him to the place.

Upon reaching..

Him: Ooooohhhh.. Patut lah you tk nk gi mkn.

I brought him to Carousel to have our lunch together. Unfortunately, my poor boy was sick that day. So he wasn't being himself with the monster appetite.

That's not all.. While he was eating, I cued to the staffs of Carousel to come in and sing for him a birthday song. I had to be extra careful cause he can get suspicious easily. So when the staff started to sing out loud with the cake in hand from far, member confident gile lah kan ingatkan tu birthday orang lain. His face while like showing a "sapenye birthday ntah nk buat besar2an". Bile makin dekat, member muke terkejut kentut lah seh. I tell you, his face is super priceless. He was so blur and shocked. Hahahaha.. This is one of the moments that I can never forget. Thank god that he likes the surprises that I had in store for him. We had to go home in a rush cause he was already so sick. Went to the doctor and found out that his temperature was 38.0. Poor dear.. He had 7 days of MC but he recovered within hours later. I think he has Wolverine's healing power loh. Sungguh the tak betul seh badan die.

All the fun and celebration was conducted before our birthday itself cause our birthdays fell on weekdays and the weekend of that week was the start of Ramadhan. So we don't really have a choice, do we? What did I get for him? I got him an Ipod Touch, and he is super excited with it. He's not alone; I am equally excited too!

Abih tu, birthday kitorang, kitorang buat ape? On the 19th and the 20th, we had our time alone. We watched movies and had some fun together. It was wonderful. Haaaaahh...

Enough about birthdays.. I forgot to include one event on the 2nd of August. On the 2nd, dear Sidot got engaged! Haaahh.. She looks so gorgeous. I wish I could get engage anytime soon. HaHahaha.. Berangan je. Anyway, I know it's too late, but congratulations! Anyway, kite dah wish awak pun. Hehehe..

Hmm.. Let me think.. What other events did I have? Oh ya.. I know it has already been a week or so of the fasting month, but I would like to wish all Muslim, Selamat Berpuasa!

Tomorrow is TEACHERS' DAY! Which also means off day! Haaaah.. The wonders of working in the education sector. *sniggers* Anyway, we had Teachers' Day celebration as well as Be Yourself Day in school today. I am sure many of you are aware of Be Yourself Day. So I had a geek get-up and I caught many eyes staring at me. I look..well, nerdy. My braces just complements the look! Hahahaha! The kids dressed up creatively and adorably, of course. I was like laughing to myself most of the time looking at how cute they were. Some came dressing as Spiderman, Fairies and even Micheal Jackson! FYI, the boy made a really good impersonation of MJ man! Hahahaha.. I can't wait for next year's Be Yourself Day and many more years of cuteness from those kids.

This friday will be the Teachers' Day Dinner. I am waiting for this day to come so that I can dress up like a rock star cause the theme is Stars of Innova. I hope that it is going to be fun!

I'm sorry that I'm lacking of pictures. My camera died on me on my bday party and now I can only rely on my sucky phone camera. I hope I can get ahold of the LX3 a.s.a.p. Till then, good night!